Ok, yes, I know what you mean about the chemical dump or whatever happens to prevent us from that clarity. I can actually see now how I get clarity for a while and then something happens just as your discribing and the brain just isn't where we need it to be, yes it is a beast. I see what your saying about standing back when that happens.
Oh, it is so nice when someone actually recognizes that because I have tried to explain that to my husband. I have been trying to tell him how he has to let me stand back and calm down and he doesn't get it, he just pushes me to the point where whatever happens, that chemical dump occurs and then I cannot function. Just your telling me that, really means a lot because I have been trying to tell my husband that. And to be honest, the fact that I actually called the attorney today and spoke to him the way I did without that chemical dump or whatever happening, that was the first time I have been able to do that. Oh I just want to be that person that could do that before all of this, will I ever be her again? I was so strong, I don't like this PTSD and how it challenges and presents such a struggle.

Gee I am glad you turned the corner JD and your helping me now, I would be lost without that, honestly. It is really scary to be alone with this, it really is. See how you can help? I am sorry you have this disorder too, I know you struggle, I know those lows and how it can present terrible thoughts. I have to fight that too and it is so hard to understand, it would be impossible without a voice that says me too and hang in there and try this etc.

Open Eyes