Learning to live - like star child mentions your not alone. I haven't had as such a rocky relationship as others but i get the feelings of leaving my boyfriend - he is my first and we've been together for 2 and half years. I personally totter on if i'm what really he wants, what he expected, if he really loves me. And then also that he doesn't deserve the Crap i put him through and i can't love him the best and he deserves better. I talk alot with him- he assures me thou at times i feel That's illusion. Idk if i relate but i at times feel like a fool with him, with illusions of good he has done when i feel hurt. I feel he doesn't understand all the time, which then hurts and i feel alone then he'll do some thing sweet like go to a doc appt with me. As far as family and friends- don't think i personally mended much of those. Ppl still talk to me but i'm distant. I can be distant with my boyfriend too which is pushing him away. If none of that relates just know i do hope you the best and to be well. Take care of your self. My t told me that i need to find with in me self validation not from another. It was mentioned when i told her about leaving at times for good. Again i hope you well and hugs.