thanks every one for your wonderful suggestions, thoughts & hugs.

i always knew would need to talk about this, but didn't expect it to come up so soon in this process. i don't want to, but it won't leave me alone so I know now is the time. thought makes me want to hide.

i know my fears are not rational and that I'm projecting my feelings onto her ... but i'm still afraid. it's more of a generalized fear. logic and fear don't play well together.

I'm trying to hold on to a ridiculous image that came to mind earlier today... one that makes me laugh ... her running out of the room, leaving a 'T' shaped hole in the wall in a very cartoonish way.

i hate this. thursday is T-day.