I agree with unhappyguy. This does not make you a terrible person. You obviously are not lacking a conscience or you would not be here now. I think the fact that you recognize this as a cry for help is a good sign that you are NOT a bad person.

It sounds like you perhaps have trust issues? Pets in general allow us to project our feelings on to them. That's why we become so attached. They don't really empathize with us or feel our emotional pain, but we feel that they do. So we trust them. We know they will never talk back or get up and leave us. So, in a way, it makes sense that the one place you would feel comfortable exposing yourself in such an intimate way is with someone you feel that much trust in.

I think the real underlying issue is your fear of people. You also mentioned feeling lonely? That also sounds like fear of opening up to someone - fear of rejection maybe?

I hope you can get help with this. We are not here to judge - only to listen and attempt to help. There may even be groups (I don't know how large your town is) that have people with these same issues.