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i am coming very late to this dilemma. i think of people ending their life on purpose as people who are drowning. Many times i feel as though i am drowning too. If while in the water i come across someone else who is struggling to stay afloat too, i think i would develop a special bond. i would be devastated if that person would go under and leave me to struggle alone. Yet if that person were to try to hang onto me and we both start to go under...we both start drowning, i would have to do all that i could to save myself. As a former life guard it is true you have to sometimes let go of the drowning person in order to save yourself. It might be that you have to put some distance between you and your friend. You could try to get word to one of your friend's therapist/counselor about your concerns and then express to your friend how devastated you would be at her loss. As a result you cannot listen or talk to her "her end" any more. Express your love and caring for this person and repeat over and over she needs hospitalization if she keeps talking about ending it.
As for you, Quietone...
Try to focus on an art project, writing project, holiday project, anything that will help you put your energy into something constructive. It may be silly, but writing to a higher power, whatever you happen to believe, has helped me in the past. Now i write, do artwork, sleep, try to do some kind of needle craft,cleaning and organizing. And when all else fails i sleep. i give myself a gold star if i shower and dress and make the bed.
You do not have to give up the friendship unless it is going to cause you to give up on life too. Your friend will have to want to live...you cannot carry her...you cannot want to make life work for her...she has to do it herself. If she does give up, there is nothing you could have done to stop her or help her. Give yourself gold stars for trying to support her. You can be sad your friend chose to ignore the help being offered. Remember, it is your friend's choice not to accept any help; also your friend's choice to "cry wolf for attention" if that is the case. All choices have consequences. It might be your friend will lose your friendship as a result of her actions, which sound like a big loss on her part. Your friend is so lucky to have such a caring person in their life.
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