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I've been working with this anxiety issue for years now. There are a few things that cause it and trigger it. Things I can't really control. I can control how I act during the episodes and attacks but when I get triggered there is no stopping them completely. Just learning to deal with them. This last series of attacks came about after the seizure, the fear of having another one and the fact that I have been waiting since August to see this doctor about the seizure. I've been left, since August with no information about seizures or their causes or how to handle them or how to avoid them or any knowledge whatsoever about the grand mal seizure I had back in August. I don't have insurance so I made the appointment with this doctor the first week of August and their fist opening was tomorrow.
The last 2 years I have had numerous traumatic experineces all adding up. From living in my car for 6 months, escaping an abusive marriage, a horrible car accident, being trapped and running through marsh from 5 aggressive dogs, the seizure... The police trying to arrest me and arresting my boyfriend due to false allegations by my ex... Not to mention trying to buy a new home and being a single mom the stress had piled up. I can normally cope, have had a pretty traumatic life thus far and have managed well. Most of the time I am completely unmedicated but when times get really rough I need medication. The last time I was this panicked was while I was pregnant and could count up to 30 minor attacks a day. But I couldn't take meds for them because I was pregnant. The panic from that was because of the abusive relationship and issues in the pregnancy.
I have coping mechanisms, I have the grounding skills. I work mentally on myself non stop, another thing that does sometimes cause even more stress, rehashing the childhood memories. I'm looking for a t right now, I'm hoping the doctor will refer me to one I can afford when I go in tomorrow, I know I need therapy right now. But I've been in and out of therapy for 10 years, it doesn't help the anxiety stop, only helps me to calm it down but now even calming it down isn't enough any more. I can stop them from getting worse because I know it's just my anxiety but I can't stop the heavy feeling in my chest, the shaking, the chest and stomach pain and the racing thoughts, I can only convince myself that everything will be fine but even that isn't working any more...
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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