Futz, I am flashing back to my mother's cruise while I was living with her. The morning she was to leave, there was a MAJOR snowstorm, and she wanted to back out. I was SO looking forward to 3 days alone - I didn't realize how much until it was almost taken away - so much so that I dragged her suitcase out to the taxi in my slippers and jammies, in a foot of snow like I was Superman - I flew! The day before I finally moved out, I was having heart palpitations. You're right, nothing we do "counts". I was a basket case by the time I left (3 years), I was so fragile. I had forgotten how to interact with people. I moved back to the apartment complex I had left, and when I saw one of the maintenance men working on the lawn as the taxi drove up, I felt like I was seeing a long lost friend - and really, we hadn't been that close. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. You'll be out soon, i'm happy for you.