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PurpleFlyingMonkeys · Oct 25, 2011, 01:42 PM

Thank you SO much silent! I really appreciate your reply. It was so kind and so informative. The closer my appointment gets, the more anxious I get... The more I have an urge to flee. I don't know why but I'll be danged if my mind is what stops me from going to that appointment tomorrow. Nothing will stop me, I need to go and I need it for my mental state.

Your advice was amazing. I don't know if you realize just how perfect it related to me. The breathing is terrible. I do stop breathing before I even notice the attack is coming on. It's the first sign. I don't even realize I had stopped breathing either until the chest heaviness and pain starts. Then I take a deep breath. It does seem to help when I do that though, it doesn't feel like I'm getting the air into my lungs at the time but I know I am and in a panic attack I have to try and convince myself of facts not feelings.

Slow down hit the strongest chord for me. I'm in such a rush non stop. I have to be going going going. I have to be moving and everything is rushed for me. I'm constantly running at full speed. I've often (more recently than any other time) thought that slowing down could help the anxiety but the anxiety is why I am moving so fast. I start to get nervous and anxious when I have no plans. I guess the idea of having nothing to do but be alone with my thoughts puts me into panick because when I have no plans, the attacks are worse. When I'm going going going it's like a temporary distraction from the fear... But it doesn't last long and I have panic attacks during my "distractions" all of the time. I can tell though that as much as I'm going it is making things worse. If not for any other reason than sleep. I get panicked if I fall asleep too early or wake up too late. I have to have as much waking time as I possibly can, if I waste any time than I feel very uneasy and nervous. So I average just barely 5 hours of sleep a night. That is not making the anxiety easier. I do need to slow down, allow myself more time for sleep and more time for relaxation.

Caffeine... It's so funny that you should say that... Within this past week I have noticed on my own that caffeine actually makes the attacks worse. They trigger it because like you said they cause the jitters and the jitters trigger my attacks. I get the same jitters from caffeine as I do from an anxiety attack so I think it tricks my mind into thinking I'm having an attack sometimes which triggers an attack. Maybe I should cut down to just one a day from now on instead of 5-7 bottles....

And as far as music goes.... You're so right... I have my calming music that's worked for the last 10 years for me... I should probably put it back in the CD player. It always helps to ease my mind. Thank you so much again for your reply, it really did help and I will post an update when I get back from the doc tomorrow. I'm about to be leaving work in 15 minutes, gotta finish up around here! Thank you so so much for your reply!!!!!