Hi Maven!

Good to see you posting, and its good that you came here and got that all out. I know that for me, when I'm dreading something that's coming up in the next day or so, I tend to start projecting and getting all these expectations about what it's going to be like for me, how bad it's going to be for me, how it's going to make me feel, what I'd rather be doing, etc etc etc. Notice the key words in that sentance being "me" and "I". In the recent past, I've learned to look at a situation from the standpoint of, who can I benefit? The situation you're describing sounds not at all pleasent. And honestly, it's not at all pleasent. I don't envy your position. I had to plan my mother's funeral with her and my dad a few years back when she found out she was dying. It was not at all pleasent. But it helped her sooo much to know that her arrangements were being taken care of in the way she wanted. It helped her sooo much to have me and my dad there with her to help her through it. So, tomorrow when you wake up, before you embark on this task, think about your mom and how can you be of help to her? Remember that it's important to you that you are sharing this with her, know that it will bring her joy and relief to know that she has taken care of something that, down the road, will ease a burden on you. If you turn the situation into being all about her and less about you, it might be more tolerable. I'm not familiar with OCD, so I'm not goin to say anything about that. I am however, familiar with needing to be selfish in a lot of ways to take care of oneself. I don't consider you a bad person for needing to take time for you, and needing to take care of yourself. I consider that just being a strong woman. Sounds like you got a great boyfriend, and so what about what his brother says??? Anyway, good luck tomorrow. Keep in mind that it is only a day and it won't last forever, and you'll be making your mom very happy. =) Let us know how it goes.

~Rayna