thanks mtd.

i dunno why like i said in my first post why i knew so early on.
i don't know how i found out what it was etc, why i was expierencing what I call "daydreams" still do. hell happened to me throughout the day.

i've also dealt with "rape" if that is what it was called. i wrote about it... god i don't know how long ago on here it is buried.

I also dealt with workplace harrassment, even though i blame myself for it. also dealt with other harrassment and numerous sexual assaults as well as abuse. 9 guys in total including the abusive ex, ranging from the yrs of 1996-2001.

i don't know why things are getting to me.
even though i have the 'daydreams' daily... [never asleep] i usually can just shake my head and it goes away.

i don't know what happened today- but i didn't like it.