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I have had a few depressive episodes through life, the first really bad one in my late 30s which required SSRIs for about 2 years. I was good then except for about a few weeks a year (the Holidays) and would go back on them for only a few weeks if that. That was the norm for about 8 -9 years. I am now battling another severe episode and am experimenting with different medications. I have depressive feelings one day and anxiety the next. When I tapered off it was relatively smooth --just a little anxious but no severe slide backward. Maybe you are not ready yet.
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And thou, too, whosoe' er thou art, That readest this brief psalm, As one by one thy hopes depart, Be resolute and calm. So fear not in a world like this, And thou shalt know erelong, Know how sublime a thing it is, To suffer and be strong.----Henry Longfellow.(The light of stars)
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