JustWannaDisappear I am exactly the same way except I ended up complying with my doctor and my parents wishes. My doctor threatened to put me in the hospital if my hypomania wasn't put in check and I know that a hospitalization is real if I don't take care of myself. (I think I am always a bit delusional, but that's not the point...)

Sometimes you just have to trust the people who care for you. My parents, boyfriend and others have seen improvement in my behavior since I've started this journey and I'm learning to cope with the illness although I deny it's existence half the time. I don't think you are a sh*tty human being. I don't think any of us who are suffering are any less of a person. ((Hugs))

How long have you been diagnosed?