Thanks all...
I agree with breathing- at times that is what saves me- hold my head and breathe- other times I can not stop doing what I am doing to breathe though (especially if upset with crying when "blue")- it's hard to explain for me. With the out of control crying alone- i will rock myself on the floor or couch, it helps in away, focus on the rocking to calm down... but idk never feel fully grounded after such episodes.

Maybe my dad was meaning "excepting the present moment"; but I never interpreted it that way- just to try to keep positive as best as could. Positive and Positive makes positive- unlike negative and negative- which just goes towards more negative.. Unfortunately I can not ask him these days what he really meant.... But that is a good view as well- to except the present moment- what is going on in the now. That goes with being in the moment right, that is something I am working on more so now days too.

It at times is hard to stop with thoughts-some time I can, other times I can't- it gets frustrating! Just like thinking and not thinking at all but think I am thinking... :-/ that is hard to explain I am sure that there is a better way.

I like the work book idea- but I am not sure if my T would be up to that- maybe she would.... IDK some times i feel like I just rambling in sessions... she gives input but usually it is stuff that i already know- but then again she does give input on assuring me things, and also she has helped guide with some things and gives something new...

thank you all again- guess it gives me some thing to think on more too.