After 7 years of abuse and upcoming court cases regarding my contributing to a direct no contact order violation x 2 , I am trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.. The first help in the "it's not all my fault" is when I researched information regarding situations I have been involved in I was amased in what I found.. I have found information that I have no doubt in my mind he is suffering from Anti Social Personality Disorder. However, the sad part is there is not treatment for it, so my 7 years of effort of rationalizing and trying to get him to understand what he is doing is and will always be unachievable but it really helped me see that I can not obesses or continue to focus on fixing him and when I did that I really realized how my obession on trying to fix someone with ASPD is not obtainable and that I have to let him go and focus on what I should have in the first place, my children.. I feel horrible and I openly admit I am a horrible mother for not focusing on the more important.. I am now dealing with fact that the condition of Anti Social Personality could not just be a learned behavior but could be also genetic in nature and will be damned if I don't try my best to find ways to not control that genetic nature to consume our shared child.. UGH, I hope all the best for you and your family and I admittedly have never gone to a DV group meeting I would love some day to go and maybe feel comfortable enough to share my story in from of women that have shared in similar experiences without judgement or caddy comments.. God Bless