/19 year old male

with depression, but I'm not convinced. I don't feel sadness all that much, mainly just emptiness/apathy and a feeling that I can't relate to anyone. I sometimes feel like I'd be better off not existing and get urges to SI. I've been described medication, but I don't want to take it. I just feel as though I don't really want anything in this life. This has been the predominant mood for the better part of 3 years.

May sound like a stupid question, but any chance this isn't depression and just a phase?