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Thank you for all of your replies, I really appreciate them!!!!
Caretaker: Thank you for your reply and your kind words! I do need to stand up for myself at work and I see that I'm just a bit of a coward sometimes. With a history of saying "no" NOT working out in my favor, it's made me afraid to say no. So I just pull away and cover myself and kinda shrink into the background. It does nothing to fix this situation I know, but I am a coward sometimes. I was going to speak to the General Manager about it until she comes walking in, in the middle of a conversation with the SAME guy saying "It's OK to look. I'm gonna tell her what you were saying about her butt..." then they stopped and both looked at me for a minute (they were behind me to the right) and laughed and both walked away. I haven't looked for another job for a couple of reasons. I've been looking but not very hard. My anxiety has gotten worse lately and going into new places often sets off a panic attack. I'm so afraid of having a panic attack that I kind of avoid going places with people daily and avoid going into crowded places because I'm afraid I will have an attack. I'm waiting to be put on anxiety meds... Hopefully that will help. But that aside I don't have a car and my boyfriend and I work strange hours where somehow we aren't together until 6pm and he's my ride everywhere so I haven't had too much time to look for another job when what little time I do have is spent with school paper work, my daughters school, court because of her dad and things like that. I need to find another job before I quit this one but I think I need to get this anxiety under control first.
Thank you for your reply Rohag. I will look into the constructive discharge. They haven't decreased my pay but they are absolutely unprofessional in every way. The general manager makes sex comments all the time (the general manager is a female). When the UPS guy came in to drop off the boxes she starts talking to him about me "tackling him" and getting on top of him... That quickly turned into jokes and laughs about sexual things involving me and the guy. I just sat there... She's the manager of the hotel what am I supposed to do? This kind of thing doesn't happen all the time but her conversations about sexual things are all the time at work, even with some of the guests. They talk badly about everyone who is not in the room. They give me things to do that are not my job... A guy and his girlfriend were caught on tape the night I was working stealing a womans purse. The guy was an employee of ours and on the job at the time. He didn't lose his job. He is the nephew to the housekeeping manager so he got to keep his job. Instead of firing him they took a snapshot of the video of the theif kissing him on the cheek while she had the stolen item in her hands, and they put that picture up on the wall in the employee hallway with a joke on it. That guy is pretty scary, he's been questioned in connection with a murder here as well while at work about a month ago.
I don't really want to be on unemployment, the recession is bad enough, I don't want to feel like I'm making it worse by taking from the government when I can work. As uncomfortable as it is at work, I can force myself to tolerate it for a time... Boy I hope my doc gives me some anxiety meds today lol.
Thank you missbell: I know exactly what you are talking about. I can't live day to day. I have to live minute to minute. If I looked at things in the daily or weekly or monthly term, I'd go bonkers! There's too much. There are too many things going on that cause stress. So if I live day to day or week to week everything unpleasant hits at once but if you live moment to moment, you only have to deal with moments of fear and such... I kind of am at a part in my life where all I am doing is taking it one step at a time. Putting one foot in front of the other. I tell myself all the time.. I only get paid $8 an hour, I can find that anywhere. So I tell myself that and try to convince myself that I can quit at any time it gets to be too much. But I have other plans where I end up not quitting even though it is too much. I'm in school right now in hospitality management and the plan is to once I finish school transfer to another hotel as general manager. I'm great at my job, I just hate my job. My real desire is to go into childhood trauma therapy and lately I've been really considering changing my major. If I do that it would probably make quitting my job a more reachable goal (haha who woulda thought quitting a job would be a goal) and would make those words "I can leave any time I want" more real to me. If I decide to change my major. But it's 2 years of school versus 8 and I have a 3 year old. So another thought has been to get a business degree and use that to get a sales management job at a different hotel and while working sales continue school for therapy. But right now there's too much going on with school I'm only taking that one step at a time too....
Sorry if I rambled or made no sense, my daughter is running around distracting me. If nothing else in this world can make me smile, she always can!
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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