Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
If those people having emotions around a client is useful for the client then I am glad to hear it can happen. I am still wary of the idea one of them being actually angry is useful, but if someone reports having found help in an angry t, i am not going to say it did not happen.
I fully agree they are flawed human beings like everyone else, just that they are paid to keep their emotions away from the client.
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I agree.
I don't know what happened here, but maybe the therapist wasn't angry with the client, at all. The response could have been perceived as anger but may have been frustration, disappointment, concern for the safety, or well being, of the client, or may have been their own?
I believe an integral part of this is in how one interprets anger.
Recently, my T and I had a rupture. We made an agreement early in therapy I would not run, but would work hard to stay and work through the really tough stuff. After a particularly difficult week, I reached out to him through his voicemail and email. Days passed. T wasn't there.
The next week I sent him an email saying I was having thoughts of leaving therapy, and wanted to discuss. At the start of our next session, he shared he was irritated with me. I "heard" what he said....he was irritated, agitated... but it "felt" like anger to me. It felt unsafe. I left feeling worse than when I arrived. I didn't return.
A few weeks later, at the advice of some here on PC, I returned to process the session with him. It was one of the MOST healing moments ever in my therapy. T wasn't irritated, or agitated, with ME...he was irritated with himself and his inability to help because he was out of town, his work schedule, etc....He was concerned. disappointed. frustrated and more.
T acknowledged his part (which he was unaware until we had a chance to discuss ) and we both learned, and grew, from the experience.
I'm sorry this is a very condensed version, but I hope through my example, the OP (and you) can see there are MANY explanations on why a T might be "angry". Some may be incredibly healing, others less so.