I have Hypomania which has occasionally swung into Bipolar I, but has always returned to Hypo. I have had massive problems with my medication because I tend to get the rash that we are warned about regarding Lamictal and other meds used to treat BP. After months of trial and error, I have been taking Trileptal for a while now with some success. I got mixed up and finally realized I was only taking half the dosage I was given. My pdoc told me to go ahead and take the full dosage. I did and the rash reappeared.

Today I tried to talk her into just letting me take the half dose again, but she said it's too dangerous since I've developed the rash. We have literally tried everything out there. The only thing that didn't give me a rash was lithium but I have Ulcertive Colitis and of course, the lithium triggered the UC.

After discussion today, she decided to try me on Abilify, which is used for Bipolar 1. I don't want to take it. I know what Ryan's reaction to it was and I just don't want to take it. I am not Bipolar 1, and don't get me wrong, there is not a thing wrong with being BP 1, I just don't want to take meds that I don't need. I take so many scripts now that I should rattle when I walk.

It's 2:30 in the morning. I have to go to bed, but I'm afraid to go to bed because I have to take this stupid pill. I'm not mad at my pdoc, she is certainly doing her best. I'm not mad at me, I can't help it that I'm very sensitive and get the rashes. I'm just...frustrated and need to talk to someone.

Thank you for reading this.

Blessings,

Jan