corpus, you said many wise things here! I think that you know exactly what you need. This is so good. Of course the anger and your feelings need to come out before forgiveness. This is the process!!

Getting the abusers to see it your way, however, rarely if ever happens, so you might not get that satisfaction.

You can still heal without getting validation from your abusers.

Dealing with abusers actually is really a very big waste of time. Find healthy people to deal with, not these dysfunctional ones who will suck the very life out of you until the last drop.