open eyes

it is a hard situation...yes. i have read most of all your posts in all the different places. i can sympathsize with you...to a point.

i have ptsd. severe childhood abuse..sexual, emotional, physical, the whole shebang. non ending from almost an infant to hs. severe ptsd from doing law enforcement & terrorist training law before it was the "popular" thing it is now...at a place that should never have even crossed my mind to do it...going to work & being told you are going to die & write a will is not a good thing..dealing with jumpers, etc all on national tv is not an easy thing...but i did it & picked up the pieces later. watched my parents abuse & kill animals...so i have my own severe issues. so much so i am on disability from work for it.

am i angry? yea. severe ptsd..especially this year with 9/11, osama, kadafi, everything...i could rage against the system (i lost my position as management by reporting gov't fraud) but after a while it just becomes a waste of time & energy.

i did tho..fought like hell. filed a suit...did the whole thing. fought & fought. & after a while i took a settlement far less than i was seeking just to move on.

at some point you have to make peace with yourself & move on. you get but one chance at life & it si too short to spend it wrapped up in a ball of uncontrollable anger against everything.

i can't change what happened to me..i won't forgive them..nor will i forget but i can not wallow...i have to move on...it just isn't healthy.

you are angry with everyone...each & every person is either scamming you or lying or cheating or hurting you it seems...maybe, maybe not. sometimes you need to take a step back & re-evaluate things.

either way..do something. fire the lawyer, lite a candle under his butt, drop the case & move on or what ever but do something. it will make you feel better than wallowing. trust me i know.

there are constraints within the legal & medical system set up to protect their own..may not be right but that is how it is. hey if you had the chance to protect yourself you would do the same. it is their business & livelyhood..

if you need to sell the horse to put food on the table, well then do it..i am an animal lover..i understand the pain..but bills, heat, food & meds are valuable needs as well.

ranting is ok...but at some point you need action. real action. i see you commenting & rebutting replies but then no action. do something.

the neighbors are buttholes. you could win 1 million $$ & you know what..they will not respect you & will still keep bothering you..probably even more..& there is no telling how long it will take for you to see that $$.

so you probably will not agree with me..yeah ptsd is a crappy thing. been there done that certainly have many t shirts...but i don't let it run my life. otherwise it would not be my life...it would be ptsd's.