Thank you ((((Larry, mrb, dottie, kaligirl, Tomi, bebop, desirae, wisewoman, Evangelista, butterflylady, darkeyes, & canders)))),

I haven't been in a state to get back to you, but I want to thank you all for your caring words, warm wishes, & your support through this. I wasn't able to handle another death very well after my Mother dying just about a year ago. I have had a hard time functioning since loosing the foal. Even though its' personality never got a chance to exist, the death has effected me really bad.

MRB,
It is interesting about communicating with all of my 4 legged family, but I have found that they are able to talk to me with their eyes, body language, & their barks & neighs. There was no mistaking the mourning & pain my mare was going through when I saw her calling to her foal as they were burring her. The pain was so obvious in her eyes as she realized that her foal wasn't alive.

Desirae,
The other foals she lost were miscarried earlier in her pregnancy without any explaination as to why.....nothing physically obvious like Rhinopneumanitits (a virus that aborts foals). This one has no explaination, & happened only about 2 weeks earlier than what was supposed to be the due date. It was hard not to feel the anticipation of a successful birth at this point in her pregnancy. My vet did a blood test to check for the Rhinopneumanitis. We figure that either the foal had died before birth, causing the abortion of it, or because the foal wasn't in the birth canal, that maybe the birth took so long that the oxygen was cut off. There are no answers unless the blood test comes back positive. I vaccinated her throughout her pregnancy, but maybe a different strain of the virus that what the vaccine was for may also be possible.

I will not breed her again & my trainer offered to take her from me & keep her in the field with the stallion. She is hoping that with free breeding that she will end up with a successful foal before she is 25 (5 years). She really loves the personality of the filly that I have from the only successful breeding & the one that she cared for that had to be put down at 2 weeks of age due to an infection caused by my mare stepping on the foal when it was about 24 hrs old. I am trying to find a place for my mare to retire to. Hopefully the place where my equine chiropractor volunteers at. I don't want my mare to go through this again. She has only had 1 successful birth out of the 5 that I have done & have no idea how many others before I bought her. I can still see the sadness in her eyes & she now that I am boarding her next to her 1 successful filly, the lady I am boarding her with was telling me that she was gone back to mothering her filly again. There is nothing in my mind that can justify putting her into a situation where she will even possible go through this again. My vet validated my thinking too when he said that if she were his, he wouldn't breed her again either, & the lady where I am boarding my horses with, agrees with me too. It seems cruel to me if I were to put her back into a place where this could happen again.

wisewoman,
I agree with you, I think there are many creatures that go through the mourning process. I know that when I lost one of my dogs puppy after 2 days(because she wasn't producing milk & I didn't realize it until too late), she was mourning for quite a while & so was my male eskie that had taken protecting the puppy as his job. He is the one that is like having a guardian angel. He protects me the same way & doesn't like me to be out of his sight even at 3 1/2 years old. I had heard about elephants reacting that way, but had forgotten about it until you mentioned it. It is sad because I can still see the pain in my mares eyes. I am sure it takes time, but I want to retire her into a very safe, responsible place rather than giving her back to my trainer so she can breed her for herself without caring about my mares interest being first. My mare doesn't look very good after loosing this foal. She hasn't been eating well & I am going to keep her at least until I feel she is healthy enough to go to a place where she will be able to retire from broodmare completely. I am keeping her interest above everything else.....I just can't give her to my trainer with her hoping for a successful breeding in the future. I still own another breeding from the stallion but am looking for another registered mare to lease for the breeding.....no way I could ever justify breeding my mare again & I have alot of support on my decision.

Evangelista,
I also think that there is a close bond of women to their horses. I sure have been able to feel it once I was well enough to really get out & be with my horses daily. What is very interesting is that my husband, who never had a pet in his life, had bonded closely with both my horses & our eskies. The only difference is that he says he could live without them being around without it bothering him (I really wonder about that), & I know that I couldn't....they are my family & have really given me the opportunity to know what real love feels like....the bond is deeper than I ever thought it would be. I always wanted a horse when I was growing up, & never got one until I could afford it when I was 42......finally able to live my dream. It went beyond my dream when I my mare had a successful foal 1 1/2 years ago with Izzy. Imprinting is real......I was with her about 2 hours after she was born & the bond from that has continually amazed me more than I even dreamed. I think that was why I was hoping so much for another foal to join in my family. I think knowing what a wonderful foal my mare had, made it so hard this time loosing a foal (another child) I knew would be so loved & close to me again.

I want to thank you all again for your caring support through this time......I so appreciate it,
Debbie