I finally had my first appointment today with a new therapist. He seems OK, it was just the usual getting-to-know-your-symptoms stuff. But he's concerned about the meds I'm on, since it's antidepressants only. It's the first time anyone has taken the mismatch of meds to apparent symptoms seriously, so I hope it means this guy is reasonably decent. It's also the first time that I've gone to therapy on my own with the expectation that it will last awhile and I'm actually going to have to work on stuff. I guess that's good, but it really doesn't feel good.

No surprise, I was referred to another pdoc to get a full evaluation and rx management. So now I'm waiting by the phone for a return call from the one recommended pdoc that takes my insurance. Here we go again...

The thing that got me was the dx code that went on my paperwork today: bipolar II disorder. It's the first time that's gone on my records - previously it was "unspecified episodic mood disorder." I keep telling myself that I can try to believe it's something else until a pdoc gives me a formal dx. But the part of me that knows better is trying really hard not to cry.