i have lost touch with reality and have completely isolated myself. no family or close friends. long documented history of mental illness starting with a prolonged and premature birth resulting in an emergency use of forcepts to get me out or my mom and me would have died. which i think is the cause of my disability. i always wanted to fit in but due to early signs of illness i could not. i was in mental health secure treatment more than once having police drag me in kicking and screaming. but failed to get help or proper diagnosis because i was not honest and lied to get discharged. i ran away from all treatment and offers of treatment until i was 18 and could legally move out of province and i did. i was prescribed an anti-pyscotic risperadal and took the medication for a year then discontinued and self medicated with anything that put me in a different mind set than my own. i know its not drugs i have had periods sober and cannot function my thoughts scare me and i need to get out of my head or i am told to kill myself or harm others and people put thoughts in my head