I'm in a very weird and bad headspace right now around my drinking. I know it's a problem, and the problem is only getting worse. But part of me says "so what?" I come from a family where alcoholism is pretty much the norm but most of my relatives, were still able to pretty much function, hold down jobs etc., just like I am. so part of my brain rationalizes that the drinking is no big deal.

I can give you a dozen rational arguments as to why I shouldn't drink and yet I still want it. i want the escape from my feelings that alcohol gives. I don't want to face that my life is really what it is, if that makes sense.

I'm attending AA meetings & on the days that I go, I don't want to drink. I know the program works, it's just like I feel like I'm fighting myself all the time, when I'm not 100% committed to the battle.

Guess I could just use some encouragement / reassurance that it is possible to stop and feel happy.

--splitimage