I know what you mean about being made to feel like you're the abuser, when you testify against family. I once called the police on my brother because he was beating his wife right there in my living room, and I wasn't going to have it. While he sat in jail, my family's response was pretty much, "So are you proud of yourself?" It galls me to think that my lack of "loyalty" was more shocking and unacceptable to them than the fact that he was beating his wife.