Ranting aimlessly does have its place in our lives. You are showing a lot of courage by putting yourself out there. If pain doesn't hurt, it still leaves scars. Be with yourself, be with us. We are all here together and there is nothing more powerful than group support and group hugs. I react to approaching depression by learning to recognize the onset and literally jerk myself up from where I am when those moods strike me. You might try this. When I do it the black hole I start falling into disappears. hang in there. there a lot of really sincere people in here that actually listen. In the meantime, NEVER give up. I spent most of my life giving up and being a victim. I didn't even consider the possibility that life had so much more to offer.It is my sincere hope that you won't take as long as I did to own who I am but have no regrets because the pay-off is that am at peace for the first time in my life. I am in the winter of my life and really look forward to one real spring as I reach the age of 65. I actually feel younger than my years and have no definite plans to "grow up. lol What I have missed by way of opportunity is not even an issue for me. For me every day is over-time and I love it. peace and hugs to you.
r