Tess,

Many, many things go into having successful male/female relationships, not just the effects from a disease. Having a good role model with which to work (i.e., my parents have been very happily married for 26 years) is crucial. That said, I also have ADD and yes sometimes it does make relationships harder than most. My fiance also has ADD so we tend to be a lot more understanding of each other than maybe others would. For instance, I can't count the number of times where he's been trying to tell me something and I'm focused somewhere totally different. Then again, I can't tell you the number of times I start on some sort of mission to get something done and he gets distracted. It's kind of disorganized around here, LOL!

We people with ADD are not known for our patience, and that's the truth. I come from a family of high achievers so I was pretty much forced to be organized growing up with my mom and dad breathing down the back of my neck (this doesn't mean that the second they weren't looking, something didn't get misplaced....or crammed into the bottom of my backpack....etc) - I've pretty much had to learn how to compensate by, you guessed it, forced organization.

Meds are not the be all end all of ADD treatment either. They're DEFINITELY not meant as a "cure", just a help until you can sit and develop a system, whatever works for you.

I find it highly self-defeating to blame everything on my ADD. I am, and I'm sure you are, so much more than our disease. You might as well shoot yourself in the foot now, because frankly that kind of crap gets you absolutely nowhere. Recovering or working with any kind of disease, especially mental, takes more effort than meds and a tendency to whine about how everything goes wrong because of the disease.

I think its more than highly possible that the depression is treatable - I also believe that you have to stop moping about how everything is wrong and start taking steps to make it right. No one can fix this but you. If that means making sure you have the proper time to get the proper training, so be it. If that means taking time out of your day for you, so be it. Change starts with you. No one can drag you into this - you have to seriously want to change.

Your first specific assignment is to find a therapist in your area who treats depression. Find a list of 4 or 5 close to you (and by that, I mean you'd be willing to drive to see them).

Your second assignment is to call them and talk to them. Not all therapists are the same, so find one you like talking to on the phone. No, you won't find out everything about them in a few minutes, but its like people who aren't therapists either - a few minutes should point you in the right direction.

Third, make an appointment. And then GO SEE THEM! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

I understand that it can be hard to find the energy to do this when you're depressed. Enlist a friend, or a family member to help you do this. It's the best thing you can do for yourself.

Good luck and keep posting.

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett