Please don't you feel you have to apologize here.

I clear my head here often too, It's a great place to do it. I'm sorry you're going through so much ( I remember one of your older posts ) It's a lot, don't under estimate he strength and courage that has got you this far.

Maybe it's time to take down some of those walls, but only you will know for sure when you are ready. You can't really compare yourself to others emotionally because we are all such different unique people, our perceptions of events are all different.

To me it sounds like you are truely not a B, but someone that is kind and caring, putting others needs above your own, and feeling guilty when you might put your needs first.

I went to an eating disorder clinic today, for my first session. By the time I had left they had me signed up for the sexual abuse clinic. This was the farthest thing from my mind. I like to go through life pretending it didn't happen. But it always has a way o catching up with me, no matter how hard I try to sweep it under the carpet. I am totally scared to deal with this. I know you had lost your T? Have you gotten a new one yet. My point with that anyways, is that I understand and I am here anytime you want to talk.

Bipolar is enough alone to handle never mind the rest of life that keeps on moving. I think it's a great idea to print that out for your pdoc. Mine does only do meds too, you're in you're out