hey ev

i get the whole regret thing or maybe regret is ony the symptom of lack of trust -- -- for several reasons 1)sometimes i think because i am dissociative i share more than i even know myself -- so when i see the words i wrote later --- it is like embarassing because like that didnt happen to me

2)sometimes i regret too because like ---ummm like rightly or wrongly -- i think ppl pity me --- and it makes me ill like ill -- this pity thing may or maynot really be happening but like i think it is

3)and lastly i regret sometimes too because what i say ummmm-- it is freaksih lol
ummm or at least i find that some of my childhood life experiences were freakish --- (or i should say that sometimes i think things happened in my childhood -- that is freakish ---I AM NOT SAYING THAT WHAT I THINK HAPPENED ACTAULLY DID) but regardless of what did or didnt happened the fact-- the fact that i have these ideas -- in my own eyes makes me a freak --lol so i can totally like get that others think me a freak too(lol they may or maynot actually think this)

i dont know overall i think the positives outwiegh the negatives--- it is like validating or soemthing to like talk and read posts and to make posts --- but like i totally get the ummm backlash from it or something

lol
god ev? do i make any sense? lol sometimes i talk and like i make sense to myself but like others are like HUH? WHAT IS THAT GIRL TALKING ABOUT --- so if that is the case here lol please know whether i am able to communicate it effectively --- i can relate to your post
zoe peace out my friend