I feel like I am. I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't know if I've always felt this way and was just smitten or blinded by the thought of losing him. I'm not sure if it's just this deployment and the distance between us. It might even be the different experiences we're not having together. I don't know. What I do know is that I have this terrible thought that creeps into my head... "I don't love him anymore...". I tried to talk to him about it tonight, but I couldn't just come out and say it. I beat around the bush for nearly an hour. Why can't I just say what I'm feeling and not worry about the consequences of how he's going to react? Why do I always evade the real point I'm trying to make to him (no matter what it is)? Why can't I just speak?

But most of all...

Why am I feeling this way?