Funny....just yesterday, I realized my desire to be T's favorite is kind of subdued right now. Right now, I just want to be MY favorite. And THAT'S certainly new. I want that peace inside of myself.

But yeah, I used to quiz T regularly...am I your favorite? Am I in your top 10 favorite? Am I in you top 10 favorite EVER? Am I your least favorite? Am I the neediest? Am I the SHORTEST? Does anyone else have three boys? I needed *something*.

Sometimes, I do think I'm T's favorite. Other times, I can't believe I ever though that. And rarely (like now), I just don't care.

Honestly, it's one of the hardest things about therapy for me. Total transference stuff, and impossibly painful.