I teach children how to deal with bullying and what you are explaining is exactly what it is all about. What I found works really good with the kids is when I can actually get them to believe that they are okay just the way they are whether they are obese or have big ears or whatever. It really works. Once they believe that they are good then the bullying doesn't bother them anymore and it stops immediately.

I have heard that kids bully because this is what goes on at home. If you aren't on the top you are on the bottom so it is a rat race to make sure that you are on top.

So I guess it is about them not about the person being bullied. As usual, perpetrators are thinking about themselves not the victim.