I wasn't able to get to a meeting tonight so I thought I'd share here instead...

I would heartily agree with all of those examples except for the reasons I drank. And I think we all drink for different reasons; the common denominator, if there is one, might be unhappiness. But we all get sober for the same reason(s). I'll just talk about my particulars rather than generalize and I hope no one thinks I'm tooting my own horn. In fact, I feel nothing but daily gratitude for the few guys I can call and of course everyone who goes to meetings, even if they are just there to listen. For those of you trying to get sober, I hope my brief anecdotes can help and for those whose sobriety is many many years, I owe you also a debt as well; we are a fellowship not constrained by geography, race, creed, or whether or not we root for the Yankees or Red Sox.

When my addiction became full-blown, I was not afraid of death, taxes or the police. In fact, I'm quite certain now that I just wanted to quietly drink and drug myself to death. And if it weren't for other people, automobiles, trees and my own rum luck, I probably would have. I was not happy here (on earth)and just wanted to be left alone to "do my thing"-which meant working when I needed to work, and hanging in there for my folks for as long as I could. I was alone for a long 4 yrs, with the occasional short-lived relationship which I managed to engineer during those rare times when I actually felt good (manic usually). Previously, my bi-polarism had begun to steadily get more acute and this is what led to self-medicating. I certainly was no stranger to drink as I'd been going to sea since I was 19-but I was by no means yet an alcoholic.

So with these accelerating mood swings and depressions, I put my folks through hell. They were just saddened beyond belief that I could find no relief for my symptoms. My father said it best, "I must have done a lousy job of parenting, one son killed himself quickly and the other one is trying to do it slowly." When in fact, my parents were insanely caring, loving, attentive, creative people; my brother and I never lacked for anything. When people decide to commit suicide, it's never anyone's fault and though our instincts are to find blame with someone, it's a fool's errand.

The truth is, I've really just managed to sober up by going to meetings, even if I didn't particularly feel like it. The collective stories of gaining sobriety have greatly impacted me, they've sunk in deeply into my consciousness. And there are so many heroes in those rooms, it's unbelievable. My own story, painful as it sounds, pales in comparison with those of many of the folks there.

In my new-found sobriety, my days have been unbelievably productive. And they just get better. My father does not have cancer as it turns out and though he still has health issues to deal with, I'm sober for all of it. I like to think perhaps an angel of sorts is looking out for me now but I'm too much of a realist to entertain that for long. No what happened, in a nutshell, is that I got sober. It took me about a year and a half of being in and out of AA, in and out of sobriety but the sobriety I have now is rock-solid. Nothing is taken for granted but there is a foundation now to build on. And I'm slowly becoming again the man I once was-or imagine I was. Life is manageable, even pleasurable...and I'm getting married next year to a lovely woman.

I wish everyone another 24 hours of sobriety and to those still drinking, I hope you'll come in from the cold, it will be the best decision you ever made in your life.