I feel sometimes like I learned to get better from depression by in my view being a bit selfish. Or a lot selfish, or selfish beyond reason. One main point of therapy and everything else is to reach out to people and not hold all your feelings inside. But what if you do that as you're crying or experiencing really low emotion? What if you lean on someone... what if you pull them down. What if you cross boundaries. What if they change their mind about you.

what if you become, in an attempt to get better a horrible selfish bug who won't go away What if you become something worthy of hate, because of getting better? HOw do you tell the difference? I just want to be able to give everything and take nothing, like I used to before I depressed.

I want to be the solid rock, that holds everyone up and never takes anything for itself. I miss that so much.