Well I ate a pastry which was loaded with sugar and felt better. Though the gluten will get me later.

My moods keep cycling through the day. It's hellish. I could be suicidal for hours, then suddenly ok. Each time I cycle down I'm more serious about it. I've tried meds and therapy over the years, nothing seems to help make me better. I have this giant hole of pain howling inside me most of the time.

I'm glad no one gave me saccharine false words of hope. That makes me feel worse.