You are in an extremely difficult position. Unfortunately, I think I need to warn you... this isn't just going to go away, even if you move to Kansas. I'm not sure how old you are, but the fact that your husband still holds something over your head from your teenage years does not bode well for your current situation. At the very least, I think this experience has opened your eyes to who you can trust and who your true friends are.

I think you should try to have a face to face talk with your husband about what happened and what to do about it. I would let him know you are considering pressing charges (then it might click for him how serious this was) as well as your concerns. Perhaps preface the conversation with asking him to listen to you, calmly, without interrupting so you can tell him everything start to finish. Or perhaps find a couples therapist that can act as a mediator while you tell him.

I'm sorry this has happened to you; I truly wish that your husband and friends were more supportive and understanding instead of leaping to conclusions and abandoning you. Try to keep your head up and stay strong. Post here as much as you need