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Why not make yourself comfortable and at ease and make the appt. earlier like you seem to want. If you need that security right now, why not try to give it to yourself if u can. It sounds like you are truly anxious about that. I know I too, for unknown reasons, resist taking medication until I am at a breaking point. Would this be a type of situation where you would take the anxiety medication. Why let this eat away at you, it sounds like you have been through enough this year.
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And thou, too, whosoe' er thou art, That readest this brief psalm, As one by one thy hopes depart, Be resolute and calm. So fear not in a world like this, And thou shalt know erelong, Know how sublime a thing it is, To suffer and be strong.----Henry Longfellow.(The light of stars)
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