Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rdTimesTheCharm
I don't think he's using attachment in the clinical sense. He's talking more about what we think of as attachment in the lay sense, and the kind of attachment he thinks is problematic in psychotherapy. Also, the rest of the sentence you didn't quote I think makes it clear that he's not even talking in absolutes:
"The truth is, it’s never a great idea to get attached to psychiatrists or therapists of any kind unless you think it’s really necessary; we cost a lot, the meetings don’t last long, and we’re not all that friendly, really, judging from the way we talk about one another. Most importantly, whatever you imagine you’ll eventually get from the relationship, like unconditional love or feeling like a favored child, doesn’t usually happen."
Anne
|
Well, I'd like you to describe to me the difference between 'lay' attachment and 'clinical' attachment. In my mind, attachment is attachment.
He says, "unless it's really necessary". What does that mean? Do we go into therapy thinking, "it's really necessary that I get attached to me T". Did he explain when that necessity would apply?
"we're not all that friendly" - well, I feel sorry for any client who finds himself with a T like that. He should quit the profession. sheeesh
"unconditional love"' ; "favored child" - if someone goes into therapy and this is a grand issue for them, then it's an issue they need to work out with their T. Projecting onto our therapist what our needs are is useful and necessary in therapy. So, if a person is suffering emotionally because they have that type of unmet need, then having a safe place with their T to try to solve this problem is excellent.
Man, for a therapist to state not to bring in this kind of issue is a terrible terrible statement I think. It devalues emotions and demeans a person suffering in such a way.
For myself, when I say that I want to be my T's 'favorite', it's a kinda passing thought. It isn't deeply meaningful to me and is not why I'm in therapy. I think that the bond we form with our T's automatically makes us believe that we're worthy (finally) and loveable. A good T will evoke those feelings in us.
But if I had an urgent strong driving need to be the 'favorite', it would be terrible if my T told me I 'should not' be getting attached. That is terrible terrible terrible. I hope the writer of this article hasn't made too many people suffer more than they need to.