kare, thank you.

I hope my T is proud, or at least accepting and not angry. There is a very childlike part of me that is terrified of T's anger and starving for T's acceptance and approval.

Acceptance is what I'm working on right now. I can continue to be angry, hurt, and confused by therapy ending, or I can accept it as one of those things I cannot change, and instead work on changing my thoughts and feelings about it. Acceptance is the only way out of the pain I'm experiencing right now, because refusing to accept is just throwing myself up against the razor wire over and over.

I texted T last night and asked "do you hate me?"
she wrote back this morning and said: "Molly. No, I do not hate you. I care about you a great deal and I want to teach you the skills so you will have an easier time in life."