Thank you, again I am very sorry, I am being triggered a lot lately with stuff, and did not want to come across as insensitive. I do know that by opening up my wounds and letting them flow all over the forum, that it may be really hard for others who are suffering too and for that I am humbly apologetic. I was reminded of this in Chat recently, when I stated that I had thought I had bitten myself in the butt because I have not learned the subtle art of containment in this venue, we had been talking about trust issues and expressions of vulnerability in our posts online, as we share our experiences. Trust can be a very deceptive, and a fragile thing, same as real world. Another issue is my wedding anniversary is coming up next week, and it was an abusive marriage, as I have posted some small experiences of it ad it’s effects, feelings of any type which were expressed during times of vulnerability were tortuously utilized to cause great pain and inflict damage, my ex did not allow me to express much of anything but helpless
endurance and silence, a repeat of childhood roles, so I did not talk about the way I felt or my past, after a time, you put it behind a Dam of defenses, and instead of a trickle to release the pressure behind this Dam, I find myself in the midst of a flood, especially when posting, so this is what is possibly triggering such a core response concerning trust issues and expressing the very vulnerable parts of my past, so I apologize for projecting this here on others. Again, thank you everyone for sharing and commenting, it means a lot… I am doing better with this now..knowing what I am reacting to…