memories..such a strange word for past expereinces..which really feels like the here and now at times..but the hurts.. mmm..I have said it before and will say it again...monsters r real and take many forms...the power of the human mind to survive and heal or adapt to inhuman experiences and torture are amazing..sorry for what you are suffering with, know that you are in our thoughts.....i think the word abuse sometimes inferes an infraction or violation of boundaries..childhood sexual torture..it is what it is..hell..abuse at times seems not enough of a word to embody the lifetime of pain and suffering which is its legacy...