I think I might be having delusions or obsessions. Sometimes I think my girlfriend is cheating on me or is dishonest or manipulative. I've been through these before and they were a reality.

I'll start with a thought about a conversation we've had about the past or present. I end up wanting to prove that she is faithful and check text messages, contact exs check phone bills, etc. I can't stop my mind from straying when it does and acting upon it. I have not have this type of reaction to any other gf before but I have thought people are trying to trick me or are lying to me when they might not be.

I might think she's sex texting guys while at work or on the phone with them. No one knows I think these thoughts. Normally what happens when I check something is I'm not able to pay attention to actual details and find myself accusing her of this or that without the factual evidence to support it. When my mind is clear I can go back to this and see what mistake I made and also see how my thought was wrong to begin with. Is this an obsessive delusion or a physcotic one?

Every few weeks this cycle starts again and it's getting worse. The last time I asked her not to come home until she told me the truth (which she was). When I get an answer from an ex (because I contacted him for example when our relationship was 6 months old, and once asking if they had sex; she said they didn't but because she answered two times 'We didn't have sex and We did not have sex' and his answer via text was 'We ABSOLUTELY DID NOT have sex') I had a problem with it and asked more questions to which I was not ever satisfied completely. I've been taught that convincing rather than conveying is a sign of deception along with not using contractions. Think of Clinton saying he did not have sexual relations with that woman, for example. Anyway I stick on these two points of the ex trying to convince with caps and a non contraction and her using one contraction and one without. But there's a lot of reasons she isn't lying, the phone records come out as she says, the guy texted me before texting her which is what she said. She said he contacted her to let her know I contacted him [I knew this was going to happen ahead of time before doing it but took the risk anyway because I've been burned badly before]

At the time I thought they are plotting against me as if they called each other or planned the answer I was going to get. They didn't plan, it's clearly in the phone records. It's possible they sent texts to each other over the internet but my gf generally tells me when a guy contacts her even though it makes her quiver now because she knows the kind of reactions I'm having.

I'm totally torn between trusting my instinct of somethings up and somethings wrong with me. I don't know what to believe anymore. And as you can see no matter how much information I do get I find a way to disbelieve or prove the facts I do have before me aren't adequate to make a decision.

I've been diagnosed Bipolar II which now I think might actually be Bipolar I. I haven't noticed any delusions previously but now I suddenly notice it may be occurring.

Any input welcome. I notice myself pacing badly today and know I'm at least at the hypo point and entering wits end!