Turquoisesea - thank you. Actually like not too long i posted that my boyfriend came lookin for me. I told him all that i put here maybe in hours but still. He told me it's ok. He made me eat later. He asked i explain my last few years- he says i'm not a plague. Your right he appreciates other things about me besides my faults. I still feel like a plague a little bit but today is a new day- i will try better and try to keep my head up. October is almost over Yay lol. I tried so hard this year not to get depressed and in ways i wasn't as bad but still bad stuff happened like always- i don't even try to remember ever year the past but the other day i was Omg every october seems to be bad. It's my birth month too so i put more on it like it's me. I wish things wouldn't happen so but everyone is ok. I'm thankful the accident wasn't as bad as it could had been. Just a road sign damaged with the car. And seeing how i just kept straight it may just be body damage. I'm still looking into classes thou. No doubt this has scared me. I'm going to try to learn from it. Your right- have a chance to make things better.