I COMPLETELY relate to you're situation; it's exhausting emotionally and mentally it becomes a terrible cycle of extra anxiety to even try to trust others enough to bond and build a relationship; takes quality people & I have a tendency of drifting towards familiar territory which is almost Never in my favor or healthy. It is easier to be alone and lonely then hurting; but it's always too sad to keep going or not progressing at all. Find comfort in knowing I am the queen of inappropriate; I have no filter and have three close friends that love that trait about me. It used to be something I was ashamed of because I was such a "nuessience" to others by the fact that I had an opinion, take me or leave me I am who I am. You'll find real friends that appreciate even you're "bad" traits whatever they might be. Best of luck!