I totally know what you mean. I feel that way too sometimes, but then I realize that when I'm not being 'selfish' by putting my emotional health and my treatment first, then I'm not really there for others in the way I want to be anyway. So it's just what it is. But I totally get what you are saying.

I've tried so many ways to make my illness less of a burden financially and practically--tried to take cheaper meds (got sick, ended up in the hospital), tried to fix it on my own with exercise and vitamins and will power (got very sick and lost two weeks of work), tried to stay out of therapy but had to admit after my hospitalization that I need it, want it or not--and so on.

So now I just know it has to come first or nothing goes well.

But yeah, it sucks sometimes.