Rainbow_rose: I've hinted it to T by saying that it seems like I shouldn't be scheduling appointments far out because I get this feeling that I'm hogging a lot of her appointment slots. She just said "Don't worry about it." Maybe I need to be more straighforward about it. I just can't see myself bad mouthing people. I don't want there to be a confrontation between T and her staff. I think they would really hate me for sure then. I tried to get out of seeing T on a weekly basis by trying to convince her that I think I don't need to see her every week. The truth is I just didn't want to deal with the hosility her staff show me every week. I go to therapy seeking safety. I end up feeling a mixture of hosility and safety. I hate it. T saw right pass it saying that she thinks "you need it" and encouraged me to come weekly. I was like saying "DAMN" in my head but T is right, I need her.

Skeksi: Yes, the scheduling is done right after I see T. She gives me the slip to schedule my next appointment and still I'm faced with this harsh attitude from her receptionists. You're right on about me feeling like I have to fight for every appointment. It's so exhausting. I'm not an assertive person. I just let them walk all over me. It's so hard for me to voice my needs to T. She's been nothing but great! I feel like I would be bothersome if I asked her to do that for me. I've been trying so hard to stand up to her staff but I'm not doing so well at it. I'm the type of person who avoids conflicts. I don't know what to do. The thought of being upfront about this to T frightens me.

T is not computer savy at all. Apparently she doesn't even know who's on her schedule. When her cilents show up, her staff page her. I found that really shocking. How would she know who to expect ahead of time then? I'm so confused.