I am in my 50's and when my daughter was having trouble I let her use my car for 6 months, do laundry, go on the internet, and was happy I could be of help to her. When she comes over she can go in the fridge but she asks if she can have something, and if I want to give it to her I say yes, if not, I say no. To me that's what family is for, and when I retire and am short on cash, and she is working, she will help me.
When you get old and sick, your fancy house won't mean much. I know you have struggled but it's still just a house.
Aren't you glad your family feels at home when they come? I agree with your Mom.
If the roommates bug you, ask your daughter not to bring them. Maybe what's bugging you is your inability to set boundaries?, just a guess.