Quote:
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It isn't true that someone can ruin another person's life. It isn't true that other people can make us do things. And the most powerful words of all--you just don't understand--are meant to put the icing on the cake, for these words say that the Victim is so special that no one can understand his dilemma, which means this Victim wins the Victim contest, hands down.
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The following reaction is to this kind of quote, not to Madisgram's or anyone's actual situation:
I would pose this question: How is this different from blaming the victim? If this victim makes you feel upset, then this victim must be "in control" because you certainly don't feel in control? Do you really feel that victims are in some kind of "contest" to control
you?
I think no one who feels really and securely that they have control would do this kind of thing, would "freely choose" to be a victim. If we "are" in control now, were we always in control? If not, is learning that we are now in control easy; do we get support for our new and assertive position? Or do we still have to fight in our present lives against those who do not want us to be assertive in any way?