Thanks for the reassurance SoFragile - glad to know I'm not alone.

unhappyguy - why is it that I can never seem to remember to recognize the little bits of good in these crappy situations? Thanks for reminding me that the fact that I identified and did not act is worth recognizing Interesting addition about the subsconscious mind... I know that I have ADHD, and my brain never stops, so I guess I could also be appreciative of the fact that at least these thoughts are not constant!

Hankster - I am so sorry you had to hear your nephew in this same situation. It is hard enough to feel it myself, can't imagine hearing this from a loved one.

dismantle - what do you mean by "automatic thought"?

earthmamma- I totally know what you mean. As my feelings seem to be escaping more lately, I can see how I'm afraid to feel that joy or good feelings...

echoes... the amount of emotional pain I am in and have been in for the last two weeks has skyrocketed and it's excruciating. My eyes are constantly burning from the amount of tears escaping. I think the thought just made things worse because it scared me - there's only so much I can handle, and I feel pretty overwhelmed. But what confused me is that there is no way in hell I'd ever act on su thoughts, so why do they then have to come up?

Elliemay - interesting how you equate it to a more mundane thought. I like the idea of dismissing it the same way I dismiss an annoying commercial

Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone alwaysrejoice.

Tree - my T reminds me of that All. The. Time. That what I think is just a thought - what I act upon is what matters. I think I'm just in such a place where these thoughts are especially frightening, even though I know I won't act.

Soup - my anxiety has been really high lately, so I guess this makes sense. I'm not sure I get the concept mindfullness? Is that like meditation and stuff?

Overwhelmingly it sounds as if these are rather typical thoughts tht many have, it's the lack of acting on them that is important. I hope to get to the place where I can just watch them drift by and pay them little attention ....