ok, well. I guess I was wrong because she wrote back and said simply "nope" and you know, it did make me feel a teeny, tiny bit better. This whole thing feels like T giving up on me, but maybe she's not.

I don't know. Too emotional and worn out to pretend to understand what is going on inside me, but I do now that one word made me feel like in some little, tiny way, T is still on my side, and that feels a little, tiny bit good.